Month: August 2016

How do I love thee
Let me count the ways
I love thee in Pinot
I love thee in Merlot
I love thee in Chardonnays.
You relax my body
When you touch my lips.
You warm my insides
With with just a few sips.
You pick me up
When I’m feeling down.
You give me courage.
You make me a clown.
You’re my lover,my abuser
I’m like any drug user
Even when you leave me sore
I’ll always come back for more.

How Did We Survive ?
How did we ever survive as a kid,
When you look at some of the things we did?
Were we made of tougher stuff than today ?
Or were we just allowed to play ?

We’d stay outside till it was dark
We’d ride bikes with no helmets
In the bush or to the park .
On swings ,see-saws and slides that were slippery
Before councils deemed them all too risky.
We’d swim in creeks or any water to be found ,
We’d have ball and none of us drowned .
Cowboys and Indians games were so good
We’d even made arrows out of real wood
We’d shoot each other and no-one did die
And we didn’t even lose an eye .
We’d build cubby houses in the trees ,
Sometimes we fell and skinned out knees.
We drank cordial and ate lollies
And we didn’t get fat ,
We were too busy running around for that .
There was no gluten , soy or dairy -free
Nobody seemed to have an allergy .
We walked to school and made it alive
Nobody ever had to drive
No carpool or drop off zones
No mums driving while using their phones .
Mum was at home working all day
Not at the gym or sipping a latte .
We showed respect for elders and didn’t talk back
If we did we’d get a damn good smack .
If fact the worst thing your parents could say
Was that you had to stay in your room for the day .
Now we buy computers and electronic toys
for all our little girls and boys
And wonder why they just want to hide
In the house and play all day ,
Is it a surprise they want to stay
In their room and never go outside ?

Julie Scott 2016

Missing Socks
Please can you tell me ?
Does anyone know ?
Where do all of my
missing socks go ?
I swear there were two
of them there yesterday
Now there is only one
And I’m left in dismay .
I checked carefully before
putting them in the machine
Now one is gone
Nowhere to be seen.
Is there a sock thief
Who takes great delight
In breaking into houses
Very late at night
And stealing one sock
Just out of spite.
It’s an outrage !
It just isn’t right !

Could it be a fairy who
needs some new clothes?
Or some little creature
Who likes warming his nose?
It’s a dilemma that is
Hard to explain .
Maybe they simply
go down the drain.

I’m sure it’s perplexed
Greater brains than mine ,
I can just imagine
Albert Einstein
Turning to his wife
After pondering a theory,
Looking down at his feet
And posing the query
Where are my socks ?
I have none that match !
What is this mischief
This thief we must catch !
I can work out that E. equals
em cee squared
But tell me why my
socks can’t be paired!!

Something so simple
But inspires so much passion,
Surely it’s time
That we start a new fashion?
Let’s make odd socks
The next big trend
Get out those singles
And find them a friend
So a pink with a green
Or a stripe with a dot
Put them together
wear what you’ve got .
And If the sock thief visits
It won’t be a big deal .
He will be confused
And won’t know
which ones to steal .
By Julie Scott 2016

 

My friend Carol challenged me to write a poem about darts which we play both socially and competitively . Here it is .

Darts.
Let me tell you about a sport
That’s not too taxing
And easily taught.
It is the game that they call darts
It will get you right in when you start.
You don’t need to be an athlete
If you would like to compete .
And you don’t need to be too smart
To learn to throw a decent dart .

You can play with a partner
or on your own,
Down at the pub
or in your own home.
You just throw three darts at a board
Then add up what you have scored,
Subtract all that from five oh one,
Then wait till your opponent is done.
Count down till you get to a double
And if you can’t finish you’ll be in trouble .

Now there is a fine art
to throwing a good dart .
I’ll give a tip that you may want to hear
It’s come to my attention
So I thought I’d better mention
It appears that the secret lies in beer.

Through my careful observations
There seems to be a relation
Between the amount imbibed
and how straight you throw your dart.
So if you’re not partial to an ale
Then you’re probably gonna fail
So I highly recommend that you start .

Beer makes your darts fly straighter
It also makes your girth greater
Which seems to be an asset in the game
Through my scientific calculations
In the field of gravitation
I’ve found that being slim
just doesn’t work the same

You need a belly that is very round
To keep you firmly on the ground
To balance out your throw it would appear
So if you are too skinny,
Then learn to love a tinny
And appreciate the benefits of beer.

So go down to your pub ,tavern or Inn
And find yourself a dartboard
And then you can begin
Aim for triple twenty
if you want a good score
One hundred and eighty
is what we aim for .

But if your throw is a little off either way
You might get bed and breakfast
Or a happy birthday .
But just keep on practising
And I’m sure that it won’t fail ya
And you never know could become
The next PHIL Taylor .
By Julie Scott 2016

Traffic

On your way to work in traffic each day ,
If you could talk to other drivers what would you say ?

Hey Mister Leadfoot is there really a need
To take off from the lights at such a speed?
In traffic like this you won’t get to work faster
And chances are you’ll cause a disaster.

Hey Little Miss Texting and Swerving ,
Put your phone down its a little unnerving .
I’m sure your best friend can wait
To hear what you did on last nights date .

Hey Mr Right Lane Sitter ,
You must know that you make others bitter
Hogging the right lane interrupts the flow
Your selfishness makes the traffic slow.

Hello Madam , didn’t you learn
Those blinky things are for making a turn.
They’re used for changing lanes too
But I guess it doesn’t apply to you .

Hey Mr Tail-Gating ace ,
You really should try leaving some space
You know there is no room for an error
And you’re obviously just causing terror .

Hey Mr Ducking and Weaving
I really don’t know what you think you’re achieving .
Driving like that you are such a pain.
Would it really kill you to stay in one lane ?

With so many bad drivers it’s a surprise
That we really even make it alive .
Driving in traffic can be such a strain
Maybe we’re better off taking the train.